Diary of a Civilian #6

Dear Diary,

This is the last time you will hear from me, they can trace me through this laptop. My fit of Heroics is over. I am leaving this stupid city and hopefully never seeing another man in tights again. That was a weird sentence. I saved the hero, for all it’s worth, and stopped the villain.

It was fairly easy to get back into the fortress. I told the idiot at the gate that Dr. Despicable was expecting me. I had to use my “feminine wiles” aka flirting to get past. Apparently, henchmen of evil overlords find cybernetic legs sexy. Yeah I know, henchmen nowadays are weird.

So I sneak in, and wouldn’t you know it, Dr. D is too busy celebrating his victory to pay attention to his nemesis, Power House. I zap PH with the power remover thingy to give him his powers back. Breaking story for a sec, why do Overlords constantly put reverse buttons on their rays and big red self-destruct buttons of their main-frames? It’s like they want to get foiled. Sorry, rant time is over.

Power House hadn’t awoken from his brooding to notice he’d been re-zapped with powers, so I choose that moment to take my exit. He should be noticing his powers are back in three, two, one, there it goes. Literally, the fortress exploded.
So why would you ask do I have to leave? Because I don’t want to be recruited. That’s right, recruited, by either good or evil. I’d rather come home from work, pet Spock, eat my dinner, catch a tv soap, and go to sleep. And while PH may not remember, or recognize me, Dr. D and other villains (or other heroes) may.

Being a villain brings guilt, frustration and anger. Being a Hero isn’t much better with it’s responsibility, constant checking of oneself, and always having to be the martyr for “the good fight”. One thing I’ve learned from my stints as a hero and a villain is that above all, I wish to be a civilian. I will do both good and evil in my life, but my life won’t be consumed by the constant ebb and flow of morality. I will do the best I can for others, but honestly, I’d choose jeans and a t-shirt over a cape and spandex any day.


Diary of a Civilian #5

Dear Diary,

Sorry about cutting the last post short, I was followed.

See, when I made a follow up with Dr. D, I wasn’t aware of his plans after he got rid of Power House. See I kind of assumed the end goal was PH’s destruction. Actually, He wanted to use his army of robots to take over the world. My job, in the grand scheme of things, was to act as bait. Apparently, PH can’t resist coming after a DID (Damsel in Distress). All I really had to do was sit in the BGH (Bad Guy Headquarters) and wait for the brick to show up. He did, and tried to rescue me, the DID. As soon as the moron ran in he was knocked unconscious with a nerve gas, and carted a way. I was taken to an OR (operating room) and given a brand spankin’ new pair of legs!

It took me a few days to adjust to them. And I was guilt free and happy, CURSE YOU POWER HOUSE, until the last day. That’s when I was invited by Dr. D to watch his “final triumph” over PH. I found out then how much a new pair of legs cost. I told myself it was Power House’s fault. If he hadn’t gone blundering in, I wouldn’t have tried my own hands at heroics. Dr. D took PH’s powers. It wasn’t quick, nor, by the screaming, painless. All I could think was “crap”.

No one deserved this, I thought as DD put PH’s powers in a…Whatchamacallit. No stupid hero who took my ability to walk deserves this. That’s why I did another stupid thing. I stole the whatchamacallit. And ran. I have no plans, but I got to get the powers back to the dolt. So now I have to sneak my way back to the BGH, oh and onus, he’s in the “dungeon”. Well, I wouldn’t want Spock the cat having a servant who backstabs people. Even if they are obnoxious and wear bright yellow spandex.


Diary of a Civilian #4

Dear Diary,

I might’ve done something stupid. Just saying. Remember when I told you about Dr. D’s (I know the nickname sounds like a rap artist, but it’s still better than the full “Doctor Despicable”) offer, you know help kill Power House and he’ll help me walk again. Yesterday, I contacted him (yes he left his business card) and told him I’d help him. What? I wanted to walk! Power House never did anything for this city but destroy it a couple thousand times. How was I supposed to know Dr. D would actually accomplish his goal?

Crap. They’re outside. I’ll write again when I find another hiding spot.


(Note From Author: Check out numbers 1-3 under Daily)