Diary of a Civilian #6

Dear Diary,

This is the last time you will hear from me, they can trace me through this laptop. My fit of Heroics is over. I am leaving this stupid city and hopefully never seeing another man in tights again. That was a weird sentence. I saved the hero, for all it’s worth, and stopped the villain.

It was fairly easy to get back into the fortress. I told the idiot at the gate that Dr. Despicable was expecting me. I had to use my “feminine wiles” aka flirting to get past. Apparently, henchmen of evil overlords find cybernetic legs sexy. Yeah I know, henchmen nowadays are weird.

So I sneak in, and wouldn’t you know it, Dr. D is too busy celebrating his victory to pay attention to his nemesis, Power House. I zap PH with the power remover thingy to give him his powers back. Breaking story for a sec, why do Overlords constantly put reverse buttons on their rays and big red self-destruct buttons of their main-frames? It’s like they want to get foiled. Sorry, rant time is over.

Power House hadn’t awoken from his brooding to notice he’d been re-zapped with powers, so I choose that moment to take my exit. He should be noticing his powers are back in three, two, one, there it goes. Literally, the fortress exploded.
So why would you ask do I have to leave? Because I don’t want to be recruited. That’s right, recruited, by either good or evil. I’d rather come home from work, pet Spock, eat my dinner, catch a tv soap, and go to sleep. And while PH may not remember, or recognize me, Dr. D and other villains (or other heroes) may.

Being a villain brings guilt, frustration and anger. Being a Hero isn’t much better with it’s responsibility, constant checking of oneself, and always having to be the martyr for “the good fight”. One thing I’ve learned from my stints as a hero and a villain is that above all, I wish to be a civilian. I will do both good and evil in my life, but my life won’t be consumed by the constant ebb and flow of morality. I will do the best I can for others, but honestly, I’d choose jeans and a t-shirt over a cape and spandex any day.