Diary of a Civilian #6

Dear Diary,

This is the last time you will hear from me, they can trace me through this laptop. My fit of Heroics is over. I am leaving this stupid city and hopefully never seeing another man in tights again. That was a weird sentence. I saved the hero, for all it’s worth, and stopped the villain.

It was fairly easy to get back into the fortress. I told the idiot at the gate that Dr. Despicable was expecting me. I had to use my “feminine wiles” aka flirting to get past. Apparently, henchmen of evil overlords find cybernetic legs sexy. Yeah I know, henchmen nowadays are weird.

So I sneak in, and wouldn’t you know it, Dr. D is too busy celebrating his victory to pay attention to his nemesis, Power House. I zap PH with the power remover thingy to give him his powers back. Breaking story for a sec, why do Overlords constantly put reverse buttons on their rays and big red self-destruct buttons of their main-frames? It’s like they want to get foiled. Sorry, rant time is over.

Power House hadn’t awoken from his brooding to notice he’d been re-zapped with powers, so I choose that moment to take my exit. He should be noticing his powers are back in three, two, one, there it goes. Literally, the fortress exploded.
So why would you ask do I have to leave? Because I don’t want to be recruited. That’s right, recruited, by either good or evil. I’d rather come home from work, pet Spock, eat my dinner, catch a tv soap, and go to sleep. And while PH may not remember, or recognize me, Dr. D and other villains (or other heroes) may.

Being a villain brings guilt, frustration and anger. Being a Hero isn’t much better with it’s responsibility, constant checking of oneself, and always having to be the martyr for “the good fight”. One thing I’ve learned from my stints as a hero and a villain is that above all, I wish to be a civilian. I will do both good and evil in my life, but my life won’t be consumed by the constant ebb and flow of morality. I will do the best I can for others, but honestly, I’d choose jeans and a t-shirt over a cape and spandex any day.

Jackie

Diary of a Civilian #4

Dear Diary,

I might’ve done something stupid. Just saying. Remember when I told you about Dr. D’s (I know the nickname sounds like a rap artist, but it’s still better than the full “Doctor Despicable”) offer, you know help kill Power House and he’ll help me walk again. Yesterday, I contacted him (yes he left his business card) and told him I’d help him. What? I wanted to walk! Power House never did anything for this city but destroy it a couple thousand times. How was I supposed to know Dr. D would actually accomplish his goal?

Crap. They’re outside. I’ll write again when I find another hiding spot.

Jackie

(Note From Author: Check out numbers 1-3 under Daily)

Diary of a Civilian #2

5/27/14

Dear Diary,

Sorry I haven’t written in you in a while. But I do have a legitimate excuse. I’ve been in the hospital.

As you recall, the last time I wrote in you I was about to go work a catering job. This involved giving yet another key to the city to Powerhouse, our resident “superhero”. Now you remember that I was hoping that a villian would show up and destroy the dishes. Well that happened. But not entirely as I excepted.

Dr. Despicable showed up at the ceremony. (Yeah I know “Dr. Despicable”? Seriously? Couldn’t the guy think of a better name?) Anyways, as you probably guessed, the building was destroyed. Yet again. The constant destruction of public property is the reason insurance payments have gotten more expensive.

So the Doc shows up, and of course, they have a conversation something like this:

DD(Doctor Despicable): (Crashes through roof ruining perfectly good rug with burn marks) Ha Ha Ha We meet yet again “Hero.”

PH(Power House):(stands on table, ruining perfectly good table cloth) I don’t know how you managed to escape from prison, but this is only a short leave of absence for you.

(They clash into wall, destroying all the dirty china)

Me: 😀

(They clash again, and PH uses lightning, destroying the NEW table cloths)

Me: 😦 Those are expensive!

(They both ignore random citizen aka me)

Crowd: AHHHH!!! (Running for exits)

Me: (Shrugs) (Walks to pick up NEW tray and purse)

(DD uses power armor and blasts PH into GOOD floor)

Now at this point of the fight, I could’ve just left. But being a decent human being (Who doesn’t destroy public property on a regular basis) I decided to help with the only way I knew how.

Me:(Standing behind DD with heavy metal NEW tray)

DD: MWAH HA HA! (Gets ready to destroy stunned hero)

Me: (shrugs and hits DD over head Anne of Green Gables style w/ tray)

DD: (Freezes and stumbles around. Then turns around) You DARE strike ME! (Blasts ME into wall)

Me: (Half way in wall) ow.

(At this point I was unconcious and didn’t get the other details)

So I suspect that Powerhouse won, because if he didn’t, Dr. Descpicable wouldn’t be in jail.

I am now thankful for three things. One, my landlady heard I was in the hospital, so she fed spock.
Two, since most people were out of the building when I took the tray to his head, I have been spared that side of publicity. However, I was known as one of the three people in “critical condition” so I did have a few reporters at my door. But since one of the others was a cheerleader for some team out of state, she was focused on. which I am completely fine with.
Three, my boss gave me a few weeks to recover at home, so I’m able to sleep in a little.

Powerhouse said in an interview he was helped by “a grateful random citizen”. I’m glad he doesn’t know who I am, because that means that the villain probably doesn’t know who I am. I hope nothing like this happens again. I’m not a person meant to be in the spotlight.

I have to get to sleep, doctor’s orders, and I have to feed the cat, Spock’s orders.

Write again soon,

Jacklyn Reese

Diary of A Civilian #1

(Here’s my re-posting of a story idea. Enjoy!)

4/14/14

Dear Diary,

Hi, my name is Jackie.
Your name is Diary.
Now that we’re introduced, I probably should tell you why I started writing in you. One, Spock (my siamese cat) can’t carry a decent conversation to save one of his nine lives. Two, my best friend Heather finally decided to move to our eastern division of Chrysanthemum Catering. We’d been best friends since we could talk, well mostly since she could talk, I listened.

When I asked her why she had to go, she said something about how the city was constantly being destroyed in the battles between Superheros and Villains. I guess I can understand that. I mean if I woke up one morning and found that the wall dividing my home from the morning air was gone, I’d be upset too. So she left earlier this week, and I’m already am going crazy. Yesturday, I had an entire conversation with Spock, who in disdain for my humanity, said “Mrow” and went into the kitchen to nibble on the leftovers from breakfast in a bowl.

I guess I should try to make more friends, but honestly, everyone at the office is so busy. In a big city on the east coast, Crown City to be specific, a catering business has alot to do. And to pay for the rent on my apartment, which is about a king’s ransom a month, I have to work not only in the office for scheduling, but work the events as well. Tonight, I have a major event to work.

The Mayor is deciding to present another key to the city to Powerhouse, a stud in spandex that just saved us yet again from doom. Whoop-de-doo.

Tell you if anything happens. After all, some idiot villain might show up. When I think about it, if a idiot villain destroys the dirty dishes, I won’t have to clean them.

Here’s crossing my fingers,

Jackie

Justice League: War Review

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Well, I just viewed the new DC movie “Justice League: War” and….let’s just start with the good stuff. It won’t take as long.

First off, most of the voices were alright. I say alright, but not great. The most remarkable voice match was probably Hal Jordan/ Green Lantern. Captain Marvel was good as well. Superman and Cyborg were off.

Ok, Bookwyrm. Stay positive. Now where was I. Oh yes. Positives…The animation, as usual, was excellent. As DC has gotten older and had more experience, the animation has gotten better. Positives. Nope. Now on to the other spectrum.

This may be the worst DC movie I have ever seen. Seriously! First, there is the matter of Batman and Wonder Woman’s voices. What happened there? That voice made me want to turn it off and turn on the Batman TAS and listen to Kevin Conroy (Nerds and other cool people know of whom I speak). But seriously, there are people that they have used in recent years in that same role that they could use as batman. They could have pulled Bruce Greenwood from Young Justice, Or Rino Ramano from The Batman, or even Kevin Conroy himself. He recently did two batman roles for them. Once in Flashpoint and in Superman/Batman: Apocalypse.

Now onto Wonder Woman. There are so many other people who could have done better. Susan Eisenberg from the JLA Animated series. Lucy Lawless from “The New Frontier”. Keri Russell from “Wonder Woman”. Vanessa Marshall from “Crisis on Two Earths”. Grey Delisle from “Trapped in Time”. Need I go on? Whoever voiced Wondy in this incarnation made her sound like a stupid, insufferable, brute. Not the ambassador, or wise warrior that Wondy is supposed to be.
Darksied, the villain, is supposed to be an incredibly intelligent, and deadly villain. However with lines like “You can’t defeat me I’m Darksied,” makes him sound as smart as a slug.
On top of the vocal flaws the language content was terrible.
There at least one use of the s-word, multiple uses of D-word and H-word, at least three uses of the a-word. This is beyond the language level in the comic books. Those comics were rated teen which should be the equivalent of a pg-13 movie.
While this is in the comic book, Darkseid has his eyes taken out. Most of the movie is fight scenes so there is a lot of bloodless violence.
Also, there is a man who admits to cross dressing. If this offends you then that would be a problem.

Never have I been so disappointed by a DC animated movie in my life, don’t buy it and don’t watch it. I don’t understand the recent climb of language in the DC movies. The script writers at DC comics are limiting the number of people who watch their shows by their reckless use of language in movies. It’s disappointing and sad since I always preferred their animated movies.

Gal Gadot is Wonder Woman!

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Yes, you heard it folks. Gal Gadot is cast in the upcoming Superman/Batman movie as the Diana Princess of the Amazons. While I was one of the people who want Jaime Alexander as the woman in the red white and blue swimsuit, let me tell you why I am alright with the casting.

First of all, Gal Gadot, at 5’9″, could reach the height of Wondy with the assist of camera angles and high heels. Remember folks, John Rhys Davies was the tallest person on set when he played Gimili the Dwarf in Lord of the Rings. If they can make him short, they can make her tall enough.

Second, Gadot has an exotic look about her that would reflect the amazonian heritage Wonder Woman came from. Her accent would also give the foreign feel. Also, Gadot’s role in the Fast and Furious movies will give her the edge she needs in the fight choreography and just looking formidable in general.

The only thing that I question is her build. She has a very slim build that doesn’t look like the Wonder Woman from the comics. Not that she has to look like a 2d comic character. She just has to bulk up a little. Those who have seen the Elektra movie know what I’m talking about.

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Jennifer Garner isn’t huge, but she’s built like a fighter. And Stars have bulked up and bulked down for movies so Gal Gadot could do that in her role.

So all in all, just like I said about Ben Affleck as Batman, lets give her a chance and see what happens.

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Oh and the costume designers would do well to make a costume like this. A mixture of armor and adding in pants. And hopefully there will be a moment like this:

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Batman and Wonder Woman Forever! Stay weird people!